Thursday, September 24, 2009

Beggars, choosers, frauds?

I had an interesting experience this week. Last Sunday, our gospel doctrine lesson was on ‘saving’ and ‘ rescuing’. Spiritually and temporally. The class had a good discussion based on D&C 52:40, which reads:

“And remember in all things the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted, for he that doeth not these things, the same is not my disciple.”

I also like D&C 104:18 on the subject:
“Therefore, if any man shall take of the abundance which I have made, and impart not his portion, according to the law of my gospel, unto the poor and the needy, he shall, with the wicked, lift up his eyes in hell, being in torment.”

Those are pretty strong words. If we’ve been blessed, we need to use our abundance to bless others. But the question may be “how?” – give $5 to the beggar we see on the street? Give him/her a sandwich? You wonder how you can really make a difference – in one life, or in many lives. So, all the while, I was thinking about a homeless man who I see regularly at the freeway offramp near my office. Tuesday morning I was on my bicycle commuting past this offramp, saw him and decided to stop and chat with him. Generally, I wanted to get to know him and find out if I could do something to really help him. He was nice enough, and I think he was glad that I stopped to chat. It was interesting to note how specific he got with the things he “wanted”. I was glad to hear it, but what I was really interested in was his story; why he is where he is, what he truly needs, etc. So it was interesting to chat with him for a while. I found out that he grew up in Hillsboro (just 20 miles or so away), is now 57 years old and sleeping under a trussle bridge.

He told me about his horrible diet (primarily corn dogs, beer and cigarettes, all of which he had sitting there with him). He was very specific about the food he wanted me to get him (expensive delicacies, etc), and he was adamant about wanting a bicycle. I said I could probably make that happen (thinking of used bikes I could get a hold of, etc), but he wasn’t very interested in that. He wanted MY BIKE. The one I was sitting on at the moment. When I told him I’m not giving him this particular bike, but that I could get one for him, he started looking at my bike and telling me which accessories from my bike he wants (rack, water bottle cages, etc). It wasn’t that he wanted me to get a hold of similar items for him, we wanted me to give them to him right then and there. He was dead serious, and I found it intriguing how the conversation developed. I started seeing his sense of entitlement. He had been begging for so long, and people have been handing him something for nothing, he has become used to people giving him what he’s asking for. We talked about a number of other subjects, all of which helped me get a better picture of his situation and what might help. We talked about whether he wanted work (which he essentially did not, because he was specific about what he did not want to do…basically anything that required work and responsibility). I tried to be honest with him that, if I gave him money, I didn’t want him to spend it on his vices (beer, cigarettes), explaining that I want it to do some good for him, not contribute to the things bringing him down. So, I challenged him to quit drinking/smoking. He was receptive, knew it would be a good thing, but not interested. He said: “Ask me when I don’t have a bottle sitting next to me. It’s hard when I have it right here with me.” I appreciated his honesty.

All of these things revealed a little more and more. So, we got to the point in the conversation regarding his health. I was concerned if he had pressing health issues that need attention. He said “Oh, yeah. I need this tick removed!” He lifted his shirt to reveal a nasty wound right in the middle of his chest. I mean nasty. It looked like he had tried to work on it himself, because there was gauze and other items stuck in it (looked like possibly a napkin). It looked painful and dangerous to live with.

Destination: Boise: At this point, he started telling me about how badly he wanted to get to Boise, Idaho. I asked why, and he said there was a shelter there and free medical care. I said yes, absolutely, you need medical attention for your chest. He was insistent that I go buy him a bus ticket, one-way, to Boise. He told me his exact name to put on the ticket and even offered that I could make it non-refundable, so I wouldn’t worry about him cashing it in. I said, “I’ll see what I can do.” I explained Boise isn’t the answer for his medical situation, that there must be somewhere around here he could go. He acknowledged local shelters, but that medical care was way too expensive. He didn’t like my response and said he’ll be waiting right here until I return with the ticket. I told him not to hold his breath, but that, again, I’ll see what I can do to give him a hand. His primary need was medical care, and told me getting to Boise was the only way he would be able to afford it. I wasn’t sure if he was confused or feeding me a line, but I decided to take it at face value for the time being.

So, I ride away, hurrying to a meeting at work and really start thinking about how I could actually help this brother. I had approached him to find out what he needed, but instead he peppered me with a miscellaneous assortment of wants. Nothing of real substance. Interesting. I didn’t expect the incessant demands. But I had gained enough of a picture of his situation to do something. Later that morning I started researching medical options and how he could get his chest looked at. Regardless of how “entitled” he might feel and that I was not getting him specifically what he asked for, I felt strongly that no one in this great country of ours should be walking around with a nasty gash in their chest like that simply because he can’t afford medical attention. After a number of web searches and phone calls, I found a place where he could get free medical attention. Alternatively, he could also walk into any emergency room and get treated free of charge (non-profit write-off). I figured that, but wanted to find a better situation where it wasn’t a drain on the hospital/emergency room resources. It would also be nice to get him connected with a resource where he could regularly get attention when he needed it, not just an emergency room. I was able to narrow it down to a clinic one mile from him. I got the specifics about time/location printed on a paper along with a personal note from me encouraging him to get medical attention. I felt good about the information and that I would be filling his need, even if it wasn’t exactly what he “wanted” and how he wanted it.

I was excited to get the info to him, but I passed the location twice (Tues evening, Wed morning) and he wasn’t there. Last night, Wednesday evening, he was there and I presented the paper to him. At first, he saw me handing him a piece of paper and thought I was giving him a bus ticket. He looked excited. But as I was handing it to him, I was explaining about the medical clinic and how he could get his chest taken care of. He was incensed. “I told you Boise!” he yelled. I mean he was mad! He wouldn’t even take the piece of paper. He was even somewhat combative. I explained there are free medical clinics locally that he can take advantage of, that he didn’t have to go to Boise. He said: “Free medical?! That’s everywhere! I told you Boise!” I responded that he’s acting very ungrateful. I told him I had researched and made a bunch of phone calls to find him a doctor who would work on him for free. I also told him I was disappointed that he lied to me and reminded him that he told me "Boise" because he wanted medical attention, and now I find out that wasn’t the motive at all.

Did I handle that right? Maybe not. Probably not. I hate that I used the word “lie”. But I felt it was exactly what I needed to say right then. I wanted him to know that if I’m going to help him, there needs to be some trust and that I don’t want him to trick me. He definitely didn’t like that. I told him I didn’t appreciate his response, but he really should get his chest worked on. He said he could do that anywhere and was still fuming that I wasn’t handing him a bus ticket. I rode away on my bike as cordially as possible, saying I’ll see him later. This morning, he was in the same spot, and at the red light, I said, “Hey John! Good morning!” He acknowledged me, and I’m not sure if he wanted to say something because the light turned green and I rode away (on purpose). I intend to check in on him soon, but I felt this morning was too soon after the incident.

So, have I handled this the way you would? Probably not. I wanted to help and I feel shot down. He is stuck in a rut from years of begging. An organization is probably better equipped to help someone like him. So many layers of issues to work through, and his defiance makes it that much worse. So, I ask you: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” If so, what’s the best way to help someone like John? I plan to talk with him and give him nutritious food occasionally, but how can we really HELP? Life’s most pressing issues rarely have an easy answer. Especially when you’re on the front lines. Something to ponder.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Unngm

Is that how to spell the “gulping” sound? You know how you can learn to speak “kid”? – and particularly how each kid has their own way to learn words? Well, Clara is 21 months old now and learning all sorts of words: Mama, Dada, Emmie (Emery), Buuk (Brooke), Riah (Moriah), Duug (dog), Fruug (frog), Baw (ball), Okee (o.k.), Hat (helmet), Mewk (milk) and of course, “Baa baa”. But there are a couple of mysteries happening here as well. She refuses to say her own name. We are sure she knows it, because she has said it for us. But she basically refuses to say it when we ask her to. She’ll go through all the body parts and names of family and friends, but when we ask her to say “Clara” … no way, not happening! It’s a crack up. Also, she has a very funny word for “water”. She knows what we mean when we say the word ‘water’, but she doesn’t want to say it herself. Her substitution is something like “unngm”, a unique version of the gulping sound. She often also points to her throat when she does it. That means she want a drink of unngm. My heart melts every time.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Boating the Willamette

For FHE last night, friends were kind enough to take us out for some fun on their boat. The kids took turns in the tube, then the adults got to ski/wakeboard. I was impressed with Mel’s mad skeeelz. Melissa has not been waterskiing many times in her life (neither have I), but she popped right up on her first shot out of the water. I was amazed. As a teenager, I tried to waterski a few times, but never quite got the hang of it (maybe got up once or twice). Similarly, I tried wakeboarding as a teenager, but was never able to get up. So last night I got up on the wakeboard on my first try, then after a short lived second attempt, on my third I was up for quite some time. I even tried jumping the wake a few times (not successful, but fun). Wakeboarding is a BLAST! I really enjoyed it.

I have to say this: the Willamette is shockingly cold right now. I haven’t swum in it recently, but I used to jump/swim in it regularly in the early 1990’s. I’ve never experienced it this c-c-cold before. Call me a wuss, but it was chilly! OK, OK, I am a wuss. I seemed to be the only one who was really cold.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

9/15/2009: Bike wreck

Man, I haven’t had a real bike accident since 1997, but this morning was my day of reckoning. I was on my morning commute to work and while taking a right turn in Tualatin, caught a lip and got taken off balance just enough to lay the bike down and scrape myself up pretty good. Now my right leg is scraped in 4 places and my left elbow has three scrapes. My right wrist and ankle are pretty sore as well. I fell on the right wrist and leg pretty hard, so that made sense. And the foot must have stayed caught in the pedal clips too long, so the ankle soreness makes sense. But how did I get the left arm involved? I’m still trying to figure that one out. My handle bars ended up backwards, so I’m guessing my arm flipped around with the bars while I was falling and the left arm ended up in an awkward position. Whatever it was, it was no fun. Traffic stopped to check me out and a pedestrian close by was really concerned for me. Thinking back on the fall, it must have looked really bad. But after reorienting myself, I got back in the saddle and finished the second half of the ride. I definitely have a little more respect for the road after that. Wrecks can be good…well, sorta.

9/12/2009: Drift Creek Falls, Beach & Pony rides

It was a great Saturday today. I was able to go on a short bike ride with some ward friends in the morning. Then, after Melissa went to the gym, we packed up the kids to head out to the coast. I had heard of the Drift Creek Falls hike and have wanted to go for a month now. On our way out, we stopped at a fruit stand on the side of the road. They also happened to have pony rides. Moriah has wanted to ride a horse or pony for so long! They each got a short ride on the ponies and all of a sudden we had some stoked kids.

The Drift Creek Falls hike is perfect for a short family jaunt. You have to leave the highway and travel on an old logging road for 9 miles or so. Great hike that takes about ½ hour each way with kids. A fair amount of small hills that present a challenge for kids. But we really didn’t get much whining from them. They were troopers. I think it helped that we were tallying all the caterpillars we saw along the trail. Anything to distract, eh? The suspension bridge at the falls is really impressive.

After the hike, we headed down to the beach at Lincoln City. The tide was way higher than I’ve ever seen it before. It was somewhat chilly at the beach, so we only spent less than an hour there, then headed to dinner and home. It was a lot of fun for us. I was surprised at how the kids’ demeanor changed. I know that if we had stayed at home it would have been a day with friends, which always includes some bickering, etc. Man was this better! Family time is so important. Not to mention I got out of mowing the lawn for the day…but that just makes the day of reckoning that much worse!

9/12/2009: Scooby dooby…Pop!

So, Moriah tells me today, very matter-of-factly, with no smile on her face: “Dad, if Brookie keeps watching Scooby Doo, her head is going to pop.” Emery simply chimed in with her agreement that Brookes head will soon “pop”.

Background: Brooke loves watching episodes of Scooby doo. I, too, loved Scooby doo as a kid. My sister Jo used to call me “Scoob”..in fact I think she still does once in a while. So, I kind of get Brooke’s obsession. But man, she is INTO it. When the kids get to enjoy some TV time, we have to watch our words how we present the opportunity. Brooke will dominate the choosing and insist they only watch Scooby Doo videos. So we have to break it up and only allow her to choose in turn. Well, at least her head hasn’t popped yet. But maybe one of these days we’ll peel a mask off her face and find out she’s really old farmer Jane from down the street or something.

9/11/2009: MJ is a knucklehead

Michael Jordan is a jerk. Immature. Conceded. Arrogant. That’s not news to anyone who has paid any attention to him over the years. But this hall of fame induction speech on Friday night was amazingly petty. In basketball terms, it could have been a speech for the ages, but instead it turned into miscellaneous thoughts of a conceded jerk. Many of the things he said were totally inappropriate and further exposed him as ironically insecure. One writer used the analogy of a bully tripping nerds in the lunch line. That’s exactly what it felt like. It’s like he has no respect for pretty much anyone. He’s the ultimate sheltered super-athlete. He’s been told all his life how great he is. And even with all his championships and high-lights, he’s a great example of how things can go horribly wrong when the world recognizes you as the greatest ever in your craft. In a strange way, I feel sorry for the guy. It’s like he’ll never obtain the peace he is seeking. He may not even recognize that he seeks it…but everyone around him does.

9/10/2009: First day of Kindergarten

The kindergartners had orientation for the first couple days of the school year, so now Brooke started her first full day of K today. She was so excited. That she had one friend that she knows from church. However, when recess time came, that one girl, who Brooke was so excited to play with, said she had enough friends and wants to play with them during school. Ouch. Brooke cried when she got home. She was so set on playing with this one girl. However, what she doesn’t realize is that this forced her to make some new friends. She was talking about others she got to know and play with. While it hurt for a short time, I don’t think she consciously realizes that this probably expanded her friend base and also may have made her more charitable toward others who want to play in her group. It’ll work out. Tough to hear as a parent, but I honestly see it as a positive. Additionally, her teacher (who taught Emery in Kindergarten as well) said Brooke was very attentive and obeyed all the rules. This is a good sign!

9/8/2009: First day of school!

Emery started 3rd grade and Moriah started 1st grade today. Back to the school year grind. Fun to see them so excited for school to start. Something tells me that’ll change in a few years…so I better enjoy it while it’s here.

9/8/2009: Girls weekend

Melissa was in Hawaii with her sisters for 5 days last weekend, so I’ve been able to see first hand how hard she works every day keeping the little ones busy and in line. Yup, 5 nights on my own with our 4 little girls. We’ve had some fun together. In celebration of mommy’s trip to Hawaii, we went to a local Hawaiian restaurant (Aloha Grill, Hawaiian BBQ) to have some Hawaiian food. We also chopped up a fresh pineapple to enjoy with a couple meals. While definitely a handful (whew, the sassiness can be amazing sometimes), these little girls are so great. I know I only have a short amount of time before they’re grown and off to lives of their own. It makes me a little sentimental at times. These are good days.

9/3/2009: Moriah is 7!

Moriah turned 7 today. Wow. Time is passing so quickly. Last night (Sept 2nd) her uncle Chris and his girlfriend along with aunt Heather were over and we had the family party & cake. Then, Mom left the next morning on a trip, so I got the privilege of taking her and sisters to Red Robin for her birthday dinner. What an eventful birthday!

8/22/2009: The Gateway in SLC

It’s been around for years, but I haven’t been able to spend any time in the new Gateway district of Salt Lake City. We got the opportunity to walk around it Saturday night. Pretty cool spot. Bigger than I expected. Great place to enjoy summer evenings.

8/21/2009: 50th Anniversary!

The anniversary party for my parents’ 50th was very memorable. They brought in a big inflated “jump house” for the kids to enjoy and we had a great dinner/evening together. Barlow compiled an amazing video of old photos from mom and dad. It was neat to see old pictures that I had never seen before. Furthermore, since returning home, I’ve taken the opportunity to get more details from them about how they met, courted and the wedding itself. Each love story is unique. I, for one, am pretty happy they found each other! If they hadn’t, I couldn’t be… wait, my arm is fading into nothing… must stop typing… (“Back to the Future” reference)

8/21/2009: Seven Peaks waterpark

As we awaited the big party at my folks’ home in the evening, we decided we could get a bunch of kids out of the house by taking them to the waterpark! I forgot how much fun Seven Peaks (www.sevenpeaks.com) was. The only bummer was that we were only able to enjoy it for a couple hours. We hit the tube runs, high slides, wave pool, kiddie pool and the lazy river. A little bit of everything. A great way to enjoy a day with the family. The kids keep talking about it – what slides they’ll hit next time they go, etc. They’re big time 7 peaks converts.

8/19/2009: Mt. Timpanogos Summit

On the Wednesday of our Aspen Grove week, Melissa and I (as well as Iris, Mike and Andy) were able to leave early in the morning for an all-day hike/climb up Mt Timpanogos, the second highest peak in the Wasatch range. It’s a pretty serious climb. Aspen Grove is at approximately 6,850 feet above sea level and the mountain peak is approximately 11,750 above sea level. The trail is estimated between 8 and 9 miles each way. After a few miles, the rest of the group wanted to move faster, so Melissa and I hung behind and took our time moving up the trail. It was really nice to spend that time together. We saw beautiful waterfalls, lakes, rock walls and herds of mountain goats. A few small glaciers were challenging for Mel because she only had tennis shoes on. Without traction, walking up icy snow can take some determination.

We reached the peak around 1:00 and ate lunch, then decided to take the “quick” route down by sliding down the southern glacier on our rear ends. We knew this was a risk, especially in August, with rocks poking out of the snow, etc. Turns out they have a lot of injuries (some serious) up there every year. So in hind sight, I don’t know that I recommend it to all…but man, it was a real blast. Looking down at that glacier from the top, knowing I have to take the plunge, was pretty scary. So steep, without knowing when I would actually be able to stop myself. Not to mention I was in light shorts and a t-shirt, so my rear would be soaked and numb quickly. But we did it. Once I went down and was able to stop myself after only 100 feet or so, Melissa gave it a shot. Man, if I only had video of that! When she went, she started flip-flopping crazily as she gained speed, so snow was flying everywhere, but I could see her legs and hair whipping wildly in the “flurryball” she was creating. Seriously, it was straight out of a cartoon or something. I was standing in the middle of the run with intentions to try to stop her, but once she got to me and I could see she was fine, I jumped out of the way so she could zip past. The rest of the glacier trip down was a blast, too…between rump-riding and walking some sections. I would say it was the highlight of the hike. We both have minor scrapes and bruises to prove it! I smashed my thigh against a big nasty rock and Melissa got a mystery scrape on her arm…it’s a mystery because she was wearing clothing over it which did not get ripped. Hhhmmm. Fishy. But the biggest mystery is how my camera survived. After I was so disappointed that I hadn’t shot video of Melissa coming off the glacier lip, I decided to tape myself rump-riding. It started out fine, but I got moving quickly and lost my handle on the camera. It fell in the snow just a few feet in front of my feet. But the camera was moving at exactly same speed that I was, so it just continued in front of me, while I was yelling and lamenting that I had just ruined my camera and I can’t even reach it because it’s moving at my same speed. It was still capturing video when I dropped it, so all you see is sky and you hear me in the background saying “Oh no! My camera!” Over and over again. It was getting covered with snow, thus thoroughly drenched. Miraculously, it survived. I am still in shock about it. That thing breaks with the slightest provocation (it’s been in for repairs many times), but for whatever reason, it lived to take more pics…even immediately after the “slide” down the glacier.

Once we got down to Emerald lake, the hike took on an endurance feel to it, as the trail just seemed to stretch out forever and like we might never reach the end! But we got back to the lodge around 5:30 pm, so overall we enjoyed almost 11 hours of good times together on the mountain. Glad we didn’t get injured (other than the sore muscles).

8/17/2009: High Ropes Course

At Aspen Grove, we wanted to try our hand at the high ropes course. This includes a tall pole (like a telephone pole) that you have to climb, then transition to a 12-ft rock wall before reaching the top, where you have to navigate through the tops of the trees on a ropes course. Melissa rocked it, man. It takes a lot of determination, strength and coordination to get through it. I found it to be a bit unfair because different size bodies (i.e. longer limbs, etc) make the course that much easier. So, it’s a tougher challenge for some, just due to the body make composition. But we both got up there and navigated the ropes. Cool.

8/15/2009: Aspen Grove

So, the same day we were rafting, we raced home to pick up the kids, re-packed the family minivan and headed for Utah. What a crazy few days. We ended up in Boise that night, then on to Aspen Grove family camp (see http://aspen.byu.edu/). My siblings and their families were gathering for my parents’ 50th anniversary, so essentially everyone came. They said it was 50 people in the group. 50 years, 50 people. Not bad!! My sister Jo had t-shirts made for all of us to wear. We participated in all kinds of family events…it is just the coolest family camp. Something for everyone, including young kids all the way up to grandma and grandpa. We went one time 5 years ago in 2004, so we plan to make this a 5-year tradition. We love it at Aspen Grove. Next time: 2014, we think.

8/14/2009: Anniversary – Columbia Gorge

10 years already!?! We were able to celebrate our anniversary at the Skamania Lodge in the Columbia river gorge. I experienced my first professional massage in my life during the “couples massage”. Wow, now that was relaxing. The lodge has an excellent restaurant and we enjoyed a gigantic meal there. The lodge has some cool hiking trails (including work-out stations throughout), so we took advantage of those and the pool/hot tub. Overall, a great experience.

RAFTING: Then, in the morning my surprise for Melissa was a rafting trip down the White Salmon River. It was really cool. And I mean COLD. It was a hot day, but that frigid mountain spring water requires a wetsuit even in the hottest weather. The ride was great, with a few class 3 rapids. But in the middle, they ask all who are not willing/extreme to exit while the “crazies” go off a 14-ft waterfall. Count me in, man! So I went down the waterfall and was the only on in the raft to not be totally immersed in the water. This was because I made a mistake in the way I braced for impact, causing my body to be up, rather than down. I got lucky, held on for dear life, and lived to tell about it. Good times, man!

8/7/2009: Daddy-Daughter campout

I got to take 3 of my ladies to the beach for the daddy-daughter campout. Cape Kiwanda is great. The guys in our ward, particularly Paul See (www.paulsee.com), a fellow “4-girler”, do a great job. We climbed the sand dune again, but with a new twist: Brooke on my back for the second half. These ladies make it exciting, that’s for sure.

8/1/2009: Quick reunion

My wife has a cool family. We got to hang with extended family members for a couple days at a beautiful home near Lake Sammamish, Washington (east of Seattle). So, you think you’re a big sports fan, eh? Well, check this out: their back yard features a full basketball court (sport court) completed in BYU cougar blue and white, including the BYU logo in the middle. That’s pretty hard core. It was nice to hang with some immediate and extended family. We even got to visit the Northwest Train Museum in Snoqualmie and enjoy a 70-minute train ride with the kids. Thanks for a great weekend!

7/24/2009: Scout camp

Spent a few days at scout camp with the boys. Yup, it included lots of surprises that can only be supplied by the creative minds early-teen boys. Quoting episodes of “The Office” seemed to be the rage, especially using the line “Boom, roasted.” whenever possible. One boy even caught a fish and decided to bite the head off of it with his teeth. You just never know.

I hadn’t been to Camp Baldwin since I was a scout myself in the early 1990’s, so it was nice to hang out there again for a few days. A cool new activity they have there is called “Mountain Boarding”. It is like a cross between snowboard and mountain bike. Basically a snowboard with big wheels. I tried my hand at it. While scary the first time down the run, I hit the jump and landed it without crashing (but came close to hitting the fence before stopping).

7/19/2009: Montana trip

We made the bi-annual trip to Montana for the weekend. We stopped in Spokane to see g’ma (great-g’ma for the kids) and had lunch with her. That was really nice. Then moseyed over to the bustling metropolis of Plains, Montana for the family reunion. As usual, it was very hot, but everyone finds ways to manage. The kids love the riverfront near the fairgrounds. It has a small, sandy beach and the water is very cold, so it’s great for a hot day. My older brother David and I took the opportunity to jump off some high rocks into the river, then we (David, brother-in-law Andy and his two teenage daughters) were able to secure some innertubes and float the river for about an hour. It was great. However, I ended up on an air mattress (plastic kind for a pool). It was just fine, except I found that my limbs were in the c-c-cold water most of the time and they started going numb. My legs started cramping and I also found that I couldn’t move my hands like normal. Even on a blazing hot day, I was VERY cold riding along the water’s surface. I can definitely see how even the strongest swimmers can get in trouble in cold, fast-flowing water. But I made it back to the beach without incident. It reminded me of how much I enjoy floating on rivers during the summertime. There’s something therapeutic about it for me.

It’s interesting, some of the things you can learn at a family reunion. You hear lots of fragmented stories…and sometimes the right person is present to pull the whole story into view. It’s fun to hang with folks in general, but especially family. One revealing moment goes something like this: As background, my maternal grandmother died of cancer in 1985. She was a chain smoker (so was grandpa) and my mom has always detested smoking because of the strong presence of smoke in her childhood home. So, the fact that it eventually took her mother’s life prematurely, my mother has been a crusader for clean air and banishing smoking. So, my cousin is an MD and he found occasion to pull grandma’s file to see what the true cause of death was. Turns out it was cancer, but not lung cancer as we have been told all these years. Now, she DID have lung cancer, but the report shows that she actually died of COLON cancer. As far as we knew, none of the family had ever heard that she had any other type of cancer. It’s still not clear to us whether she even knew that she had colon cancer. But man…when my cousin told us about the report, my mom had a look of amazement on her face. Of course, lung cancer is terrible and would likely have taken her life prematurely anyway, but it’s interesting to be reminded that life will throw curve balls. Even during difficult times, something more challenging may be lurking – sometimes unbeknownst to us. The challenge is to make the best of what we’ve been given and not lose sight of eternal perspective. Easy for me to say, right? But man, family reunions can be enlightening.